The Journey to Me

I'm really looking forward to this class! As for how I got here...well, that's a question I've asked myself rather often over the last three years. You see, had you told me during high school that in four years I would be interning at Batesville Junior High, I would have looked at you like you were crazy.

I entered Lyon College as a freshman intending to go on the pre-pharmacy track. I did well in my sciences and maths in high school, so I thought that pharmacy school would be perfect for me. After all, pharmacists made plenty of money, and I wanted to live comfortably. So they loaded me up with science and math classes -- Elementary Functions, Introduction to Chemistry, Principles of Biology -- and set me loose into the world. And I promptly sunk.

Well, maybe sunk isn't the best word for it. I made Cs and Bs in those classes, after all. Floundering might be better terminology. Or desperately flapping my arms as I tried to keep my head above water.

I went to a dark place that semester.

My perception of myself was severely challenged. I saw myself as an idiot. Why was I so bad at something I had excelled at before? No matter how hard I studied -- and, believe me, I studied constantly -- I never did much better. I hated myself for failing.

There was one good thing about that first semester, and that was my English Composition class. While I did poorly in my other three classes, I excelled in English Comp. What's more, I actually looked forward to that class. I learned how to properly cite texts. I wrote my first research paper (and I suppose it is telling that the subject was use of technology in the classroom). I loved that class. It was my saving grace.

What's more, it opened me up and showed me what it meant to truly be happy. I went to college thinking of it as a means to an end. I would get my degree, go to pharmacy school, and get a job in a pharmacy. I would buy a nice house and live comfortably. I went into my second semester of college knowing that I wanted knowledge for knowledge's sake.

That has been my guiding principle for all of my classes for the last three years. I take classes because I find them interesting. My sophomore year, I took a class of classic Greek mythology, and I loved it. I also took a class on Southern literature. As a junior, I took Shakespeare, a class on British poetry, and a class on creative writing. This semester I'm taking another Shakespeare class, and I'm taking Latin as well. And I have loved every experience. Each class opens me up to new knowledge that I not only comprehend, but I thoroughly enjoy. Had I stuck to my original plans to follow a pre-pharmacy path, I would be somewhere entirely different, but I can't say that I would be as happy as I am now.

As for why I decided on teaching...well, that is very closely linked to my decision to study English.

I decided to go into teaching halfway into my second semester of freshman year. The guiding factor was the Western Literature class taught by one Dr. Ronald Boling. The texts were fascinating to me. Though I had read The Odyssey and Hamlet in high school, I had not enjoyed them. That class breathed new life into those works for me. I understood them better than I had ever understood them, and it made me excited. I wanted to share my new knowledge with others. I wanted to share my new knowledge about everything with everyone.

The problem with that is that most people look at you like you are crazy if you suddenly start talking to them about the little things that fascinate you about the word play or the characters. The problem is that so many people are jaded about literature and school in general. They had bad experiences and simply write off what they don't care for, never to come back to it. I decided as a freshman that I needed to try to stop that. I needed to put myself out there to help students see just how amazing English and literature is.

So I started the secondary education track at Lyon during my sophomore year at Lyon. It hasn't been easy by any means, but I'm pushing through. And that also means that I've faced some issues of my own. Like many people write off English, I wrote off biology as something I simply can't do. I've had to learn about the biology side of development. It helps that it is coming from a viewpoint that I can understand, and I know it is helping me towards my goal as a teacher. I'm also a huge introvert, but I've been working through that as well.

That is where I am now. I have come a long way since I began three years ago, and I still have a long way to go. But I'm looking forward to every bit of it and to all the new things waiting for me.